John is driving to work on Monday morning when a booming voice tells him: “Take the freeway instead of your normal route.” He takes the freeway and when he gets to the office everyone is talking about a huge accident that occurred on his normal route to work.
Three days later he’s grilling hot dogs in his backyard and the same booming voice tells him: “Go inside and take a shower.” He does and through the shower window he watches a huge tree fall and crush the grill where he was just standing.
When the voice tells him to sell everything he owns and move to Vegas, he sells everything he owns and moves to Vegas. The voice tells him to qualify for the World Series Of Poker at poker sites found online, which he does. When he doesn’t win one the voice tells him to pay his last $10,000 to enter the World Series of Poker 2010 Main Event, which he does, even though he’s never played poker before.
He’s dealt two red aces and the voice tells him to go all-in. He shoves all-in and five different players call. The flop is Jack clubs, 10 clubs, 9 clubs.
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the
dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the
wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
“Amazing,” he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.
But looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a State Trooper behind him; blue
and red lights flashing and siren blaring.
He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, “What am
I doing? I’m too old for this,” and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch
and said, “Sir, my shift ends in 15 minutes, plus today is Friday. If you can give me a
reason for speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”
The old gentleman paused then said, “Three years ago, my wife ran off
with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”