Made Me Laugh

- Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
- I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week.
- The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
- Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
- Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!
- For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
- Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
- Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
- Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
- All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

A recent notice posted in English at a hotel resort in a non-English speaking country.

• Please do not take the hotel property things, any damages and lost will be charged for examples: key, cup, towel
• Prohibited to carry or keep the sharp weapons or gunfire
• Do not make noisy that will detrimentally affect the comfort of safety of other guests in hotel
• Carry or keep the pets are not permitted
• Please do not carry or consume the stink meals (durians)
• Prostitute is not allowed
• Prohibited to drink / carroused in the room
• Please do not leave your valuable things in the room, we may not be responsible for the lost

Confucius Says:
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Man who run in
Front of car get tired.
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Man who run behind
Car get exhausted.
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Man with one
Chopstick go hungry.
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Man who scratch butt
Should not bite fingernails.
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Man who eat many
Prunes get good run for money.
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Baseball is wrong:
Man with four balls cannot walk.
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War does not
Determine who is right, war determine who is
Left.
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Wife who put
Husband in doghouse soon find him in
Cathouse..
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Man who fight with
Wife all day get no piece at night.
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It take many nails
To build crib, but one screw to fill it.
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Man who drive like
Hell, bound to get there.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who live in
Glass house should change clothes in
Basement.
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Crowded elevator
Smell different to midget.
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