Made Me Laugh

- It’s a dog eat dog world out there. And they’re short on napkins.
- One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
- Never trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent.
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
- It must be true that men are from Mars. Look at how the place has deteriorated. (Don’t get too excited ladies…Venus is no Garden of Eden either…)
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- Married people don’t live longer than single people. It just seems longer. (Longer for to enjoy living in bliss, right?)
- I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. (It wasn’t me, it was another guy…)
- If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
- If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do you have any interesting ideas to share in the comments below?