Made Me Laugh

(What do you expect from such simple creatures?)

• Your last name stays put
• The garage is all yours
• Wedding plans take care of themselves
• Chocolate is just another snack
• You can be president
• You can wear a white t-shirt to a water park
• You can wear NO t-shirt to a water park
• Car mechanics tell you the truth
• The world is your urinal
• You never have to drive to another gas station because “this one’s just too icky”
• You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt
• Same work, more pay
• Wrinkles add “character”
• Gray hair is considered “distinguished”
• Wedding dress- 00, Tux rental: 0
• People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them
• The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected
• New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet
• One mood, ALL the time
• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat
• You know stuff about tanks
• A five-day vacation requires one suitcase
• You can open all your own jars
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
• If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend
• Your underwear is .95 for a three pack
• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough
• You almost never have “strap problems” in public
• You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes
• Everything on your face stays its original color
• The same hairstyle may last for years…even decades
• You only to have shave your face and neck
• You can play with toys all your life
• Your belly usually hides your big hips
• One wallet and one pair of shoes…one color, all seasons
• You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look
• You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife
• You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache
• You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24, in 45 minutes

No wonder men are just happier!!